dearhimself

Around 11 to midnight when everyone was sleeping all of sudden as i worked on my laptop my door turned s couple times as if someone was trying to get i’n or check if it was locked my senses quickly reacted I assumed it was my mother or something I said ummm helllo? No answer I then slowly armed myself with protection and opened the door a crack as I did I felt a slight pressure as if someone was very lightly and slowly pushing on it (but this could have just been wrong as my senses were going off like crazy) after I felt the pressure I pushed the door shut waited a couple o seconds then opened the door and hollowered out to my mom asking he was just at my door two which she replied no one then I told her that someone had just turned my door knob and tried to get it i’n her and her boyfriend then got up and which sure the house was secure which it was. It is still unknown if something was trying to breach into my room or I just misinterpreted other sounds.

Note: this dream did not happen in the present post date it happened a week or two ago possibly 3

It was violent thats what i remember but not like violence coming from me violence on a big scale. war. i remeber seeing men in civillian clothes running towards something. the color red. and a word. it felt like it was a dark word like something bad would come of it. war death i dont know the word was akrateon…i think. when i awoke and searched the word the only thing that came up was a link to a myspace for a movie called saviors about 3 boys learning to make there way in the world. the irony and strange part is eariler in the year i wrote a movie titled saviors. about the next step of evolution leading to abnormal abilities. coincendence. maybe? probably not.

woke up from sleep to loud banging noise sounded like someone pounding on walls hard as they can very deep bassy sounding but obvious something was being hit or made contact with when i asked the others no one else was awoken. It was around 1:45-1:55 am it only lasted probally 30 seconds to a minute or less i got up from sleeping and walked over to where my light is it sounded as if it was coming from outside in or in the garage of the house by the time i got up i put my head to the wall to get a better sound i heard what sounded a males voice yelling then heard one or two more loud bangs then it stopped fellowers have been known to due construction late but after asking the others they were not woken up. i imediatly voice recorded my reaction. i did not wake the others up as i felt if it was loud enough it would wake them up but as of today when i asked they had not heard anything at all. could have been something. most likely nothing. maybe….

All the years LOST was on TV I never watched one episode cause I wanted to be able to watch them non stop till the end to be able to take everything in as much as possible. And after all those years and being on the outside of jokes about lost and hearing how great it is. I get it.

Lost is an amazing show of the struggle that is to be human and the confusion and mystery that is life. Like strings in a weaved blanket it depicts how we are all bonded together how we are all connected. But even so how most of us still feel lost all my life i’ve said humans are strange humans beings are ability to rationalize makes us very complex in trillions of different ways. Lost was great storytelling and a great example of the human pysche something that really stuck with me from the show was something john Locke said to jack “are you a man of faith or are you a man of science. A question I think we’ve all asked. Our we just domino pieces lined falling down to create a bigger picture or is everything a coincidence. By far I felt most connected with Locke character the confusion of feeling like you have a destiny like there is something more for you or just another blip on a infantine radar screen life in the galaxy. Always searching.

John to Desmond

“Don’t mistake coincidence for fate”

I also love the choice of Locke age and how his life kind of resembles more of a young adult he always putting his trust in the wrong people time and time again people do him wrong and treat him wrong but his spirit prevails and he always continues on his journey he was a constant believer though all treated him as a “crazy” who belief in the island was dangerous. I still felt a strong bond with Locke. Because I related to him. I always felt something more. But all’s i’ve in return was black smoke. Metaphorically speaking of course.

By the end of the series you see all these characters find the big question what is the meaning of my existence? By the man of science jack has become a man of faith.

A lot of people feel like there life’s are meaningless like everybody around them is surpassing them in life they’ve achieved something they never could. Though they have. It’s about realizing things about seeing what you can be. Who you are. A test of the human spirit. When all odds are against the human spirit endures. Embraces struggle.

A old man who lost his faith

A surgeon who lost his father

A girl who lost the love a mother and a killed her only friend

A conman who lost himself

A lottery winner who lost his happiness

A couple who lost there love

A solider who lost his reasons

A rock star who lost his passion

A mother to be who lost her way

Through the struggle that is to be human and a test of spirit all these people found out

Sometimes you haft to get lost to be found

Dreams and restless thoughts came into his mind, flowing from the water of the river, sparkling from the stars of the night, melting from the beams of the sun, dreams came to him and a restlessness of the soul, fuming

I’m not one usually to tell people to buy a bands album but avenged sevenfold my favorite rock band just released there new album Nightmare. And no I’m not telling you to go buy it because its fucking amazing i’m telling to do it to honor there fallen brother jimmy who lost his life in december of 2009 one of the brightest people who walked this earth. at least check it out.

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James Owen Sullivan (February 9, 1981 – December 28, 2009)

The Rev

Dear God i pray James Sullivan is in alittle piece of heaven in the afterlife,making the angels scream. He seized the day in bat caountry then burned it down,His unholy confessions trashed & scattered.We gave him the strength of the world & he gave us a second heartbeat. May you be in eternal rest, the greatest drummer in the world. A Synyster man who will leave his shadows behind,strikes with a vengeance,fearing no christ for he is the Rev.

this just popped into my head decided i liked it and wrote it down.

yin      yang
push    pull
action  reaction
cause  effect
up       down
light     dark

these are not just sayings
there a way of life

I wrote a song about making love on a empty interstate highway during the wee hours of the night. Why not?

Verse 1

Out by on the interstate somewhere

By south east and road 8 your hand laid in mine soft as the safest waters you laid your hair down like you were the wind

She says oh boy I’m gonna shake up your soul

Bridge 1

No traffic heading to your back

Or my west…wild thing free fall with me

Chorus

I’m in the seat next to you staring in your

Eyes I’m here feeling this love tonight…oh love tonight…oh love tonight

Verse 2

Were down here staring at blue sky’s

On this dark knight you’re saying baby just save me as I sit next to you

You breathe into me and scream out

Bridge 2

She says don’t worry

You can go fast all go slow

Just take me

the first of summer weather i love the nights the best just in between when its starting to cool down and still hot enough to stay outside.That nostalgic feeling in the air people everywhere. the sun starts to go down slowly as the stars start to come out. everyone’s smiling